The thing we call workplace bullying is not always quite what we imagine it to be. According to Susanna Paarlahti, Service Manager of Occupational Psychology, it is often a tangle of misunderstandings and mental stress.
Workplace bullying is a complex phenomenon that does not always have clear bullies and victims
In the early days of my career as an occupational psychologist, I ended up solving a suspected case of bullying when a supervisor contacted occupational health after receiving a report from one of their team members. According to the employee, they had experienced workplace bullying.
The team was relatively small so we followed the typical procedure at the time and agreed that I will interview every member of the work community to get a comprehensive idea of the situation and its background, sore points, and potential solutions.
You can imagine my surprise when I learned that multiple members of the team felt that they were a victim of bullying – but nobody admitted to being the perpetrator.
Typical dynamics of workplace bullying
In the following years, I was contacted to investigate several cases of bullying. The same phenomenon repeated itself: there were no bullies, but multiple victims.
Everyone had been stressed about the situation. During the interviews, some employees appeared indignant, some tired and weepy. The tense atmosphere had usually continued for months – even for years.
Despite all this, I rarely encountered misconduct that I could direct the employer to intervene in.
In most cases, the so-called workplace bullying was a tangle of team dynamics, involving differences in temperament, lacking communication, bad-mood loops, coping, misunderstandings, attempts to resolve the problems, and moving out of the frying pan into the fire. Often, this type of atmosphere inspired stories of “the bad guys”.
Were these situations resolved?
Whether or not the team was able to exit the vicious circle depended heavily on the team’s mental resources.
A flexible and creative team that did not take everything seriously tended to fare better. Sometimes, some members needed to take a breather from work to recover their strength. In some teams, reviewing the ground rules of good workplace conduct was necessary.
Ultimately, the most important thing was to restore the functional capacity of the team.
In many cases, clarifying the roles and responsibilities within the team and redefining the common goal opened the deadlock.
On very few occasions was it necessary to discipline the bully. Usually, the story about a bad guy proved to be a belief brought on by an exhausting situation.
How to increase understanding when finger-pointing leads to nothing?
If a person has a strong sense of capability, learning more about workplace bullying can be beneficial. But if the sense of capability is weak, additional information about the subject can cause more distress.
That is why we recommend taking a moment to make observations about what you are feeling. This means opening your senses, being receptive to observations, and paying attention to how you are feeling. This is not possible if you are wound up. But if you can consciously make observations by using any of your senses, you have already succeeded in calming your mind a little.
By repeating a successful action, you may discover new or same responses. This helps you wind down even further.
Sense of security is the way out of the vicious circle
Calming yourself is the key to recovering your sense of security. When you become calm, you can collect silent information about the situation and realise you are safe and alright. You can immerse in your work better when you are not constantly looking over your shoulders. Suppressing the fight-or-flight response gives you more time to think.
When you feel safe, you can also reinforce the sense of security of others.
Your body loosens up, your breathing slows down, your tone becomes melodic, and the other person understands that you are not being aggressive.
A slight dissonance or discordant note in the team does not brew up a storm but is a sign of awkwardness. This person needs your support, not your animosity.
Do you want to improve the social interactions in your work community and prevent conflicts? The services of Pihlajalinna Occupational Health reinforce the psychological safety of your work community. Please contact your occupational health team for more information.
Learn more
- Misunderstandings, conflicts and bullying at work – how to promote psychological safety?
- https://tyoterveysmyynti.pihlajalinna.fi/osaatko-hyodyntaa-oman-tyoterveystiimisi-psykologia/